The bachelor party is a time-old tradition used to celebrate the groom’s last night as a single man. Strip clubs, shots, lap dances, this is guy’s territory. It’s a manly right of passage where everyone gets to act like they’re 21 again, howling under the perennial “No Girls Allowed” sign tacked to the wall. But what happens when your fiancé has some qualms about your wild night? This can be a tricky situation for both sides. Grooms, you don’t want to spoil your fun but you don’t want to get in trouble with your fiancé right before the wedding. Brides, you don’t want your fiancé to do something that he’ll regret, forever altering your relationship. In some ways, this is a major step in negotiating the boundaries of your relationship before
the big day.
Before the advice starts rolling in, let it be said that every relationship is different. The goal of this article is to get both parties to listen and consider each other’s feelings. The bride doesn’t want anything too crazy to happen during the bachelor party. The groom wants to have a great night out with his friends without being told what to do. Like most issues in a relationship, both sides need to meet somewhere in the middle.
Start by sitting down together and talking about any concerns on either side. Brides, clearly state what specifically makes you nervous about the bachelor party. Is it the drinking, lap dances, or the possibility of him cheating? Let him know what your limits are. Try to be conscious of his needs as well. After all, this is his big night and you don’t want to spoil it. Remember that if your fiancé truly loves you, he won’t do anything to sabotage your relationship. Trust is a key ingredient for a successful marriage.
Grooms, listen to your fiancé’s concerns with an open mind. If there is something that she absolutely forbids you to do, it’s probably better to respect her wishes than to listen to your inner teenage boy. Your relationship will last a lifetime (hopefully) and is far more important than one night out with your friends. If you find her requests to be completely overbearing, push for some wiggle room. This is a momentous occasion after all. Your fiancé shouldn’t be the only one calling the shots.
Hopefully by the end of your chat, the two of you will have come up with some clear parameters for the evening. Grooms will know where to draw the line and brides will let their fiancé have some guys-only fun. To balance the scales, start planning a bachelorette party. Having some girls-only fun is a great way to get your mind off of your fiancé’s special night out.
If for some reason the bride is completely against whatever kind of party you have planned, start thinking about the long term. If you don’t see eye-to-eye on one silly party, how will you come to terms on larger issues such as buying a house or raising a child? Marriage is about sacrifices and finding common ground. If you can’t start now, that’s a pretty big red flag blowing in the wind.
If you have a healthy relationship, one that’s based on trust and respect, you should be able to work things out. When in doubt, take a leap of faith and trust in your love for each other. It’s really the only thing that matters.
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