Coming up with your half of the wedding party can be extremely straightforward. Bill is my best friend, thus my best man. Throw in some other buddies as groomsmen and you’re good to go. It can also be a complicated chore, one that requires a bit of finesse and political maneuvering. For tips on how to deal with these types of situations or to avoid them completely, read The Alpha Groom’s tips below.
Brother Vs. Bros
If you’re close to your brother, you’re probably better off sticking with family. Your friends can deal with being groomsmen. You’re stuck with your actual brother for life, so give him a moment to shine. If you and your brother are on less-than-friendly terms, go with your best friend. Hopefully, everyone will understand. If not, try to spread the love by delegating different tasks to different people.
Disapproving Bride
This can be tricky territory. When the bride doesn’t approve of your choice for best man, try to talk it out rationally. If her side of the argument is completely legit such as your best friend will get drunk during the ceremony, shout obscenities during the toast, etc., respect her wishes. The last thing that you want is for her to be mouthing, “I told you so,” throughout the night. If your choice for best man is actually a respectable guy, stand up for your friend. She should respect your right to choose.
Best Woman?
Can you have a woman as your best man? Sure it’s possible, but beware of the potential hazards ahead. First of all, make sure that your relationship is firmly platonic. There’s no awkward sexual tension or hidden crushes. Talk to your fiancé and see if she’s comfortable with the situation. If she says yes, but she’s really saying no, go with the latter. It’s better to be safe than sorry. Even if your fiancé seems totally okay with it, something could come up down the road. When in doubt, find a guy as a suitable replacement.
You Don’t’ Have Friends
That’s unfortunate. If you’re strapped for groomsman, try thinking outside the box. You can ask one of your fiancé’s friends, reach out to an old college buddy, or go through your extended family. There has to be an able-bodied guy who’s up to the task somewhere. Your best man doesn’t have to be your BFF. If it’s a relatively lukewarm relationship, you can simplify the best man’s responsibilities and just get on with the show.
My Best Friend Is Apathetic
In reality, it’s not that hard to be a best man or a groomsman. Throw on a tux, smile for the camera and hand out the ring. If your best friend or brother is dragging their feet, you can do some things for them like make sure that they have a tux or call them the day of to make sure that they’re still coming. It might be a pain, but you don’t want to stand up there alone.
More Than One Best Man
Sometimes egos get burned. That’s the way it is. Don’t prance around it by selecting more than one best man. If you have two best friends that are both vying for the spotlight, go with the one that you’ve known the longest. You can’t rate your friendships on a scale of one to ten. If in doubt, go with your gut instinct. If they’re really your friends, they’ll understand.
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